I think I just figured out what happened to Pearl Jam. After their career fell flat in the US, they realized that since the Italians love cheesy pop rock, their best strategy was simply to learn Italian and attempt to become the next Zucchero. Unfortunately for us the void they had occupied was quickly filled by whatshisname, Dan Robinson? Right, Dave Matthews. And what a void it is. I can’t wait for him to learn Italian too. Please.